Thursday, June 6, 2013


     My stereo is playing "I think You Know", off the TODD album, Dougie is curled up in his spot on the couch, and I'm just relaxing, thanking God for music, and quiet times. So much has happened in the past few months, some of which I'm still trying to wrap my head around.

     I pop out to the kitchen, and dish up a bowl of Chocolate Marshmallow ice cream-Alsace Dairy is one of the few places that still makes it, and it tastes the same as it did when I was having some along with "Ghoulardi" when I was eight.

     I don't live in the past, although I'm a sucker for the "things were simpler" school of thought at times. Being a grown person is hard, especially when there's so much behind you. I don't believe that dead folks come back as ghosts, but they WILL haunt you, in their own way. The song, "A Dream Goes On Forever", makes me think of my mother, and how cool it was that she not only liked it, she GOT it. Ma's presence is here with me, along with  Mack D, who turned me onto Todd so long ago.

     I wonder what they'd think of all this....the Legion, Susan- they both adored Linda; in fact, I met her at one of Mack's gigs , when we were still in high school-and just everything in the last twenty-some years....Mack's been gone twenty-five years, Ma  twenty-two.

     Dougie's caught a whiff of my ice cream, and he's intrigued....he won't eat it because it's so  cold, but we have to go through this each time. "Here", I say, holding the bowl out to him. He sniffs it, touches his nose to it, recoils as if horrified, glares at me as if I've played a mean trick on him, and stalks into the kitchen, to bury his sorrows in kibble, I guess.

     Cats....still, for the past five years, the old brawler's been a close friend, and I respect his right to be idiosyncratic. I'll pick him up a donut middle from Larry's later on, when I go to get a dozen assorted for me. I finish my ice cream, and carry the bowl out to the sink.

     The orange glow from the steel mill shines in my kitchen window, as it has since before I was born. I'm so glad I never sold this house- I grew up in it, and it was a great place to heal after losing Linda. Almost everywhere I go is someplace I've known since childhood, and I'm blessed to be able to live here, among friends, and familiar surroundings. First Baptist was Mike's father's church, and we were in Sunday School together as kids, going to school at Leach Elementary, Wadworth Junior High, and General Duke High .
Every day, I see faces I've greeted since I was old enough to walk along a street holding my mother's hand, and my favorite pears grow on the big tree in my backyard, as they always have.

     The world changes, strangely, in fact, but Lord, you've given me a little piece of stability, a place to rest, and give thanks. I stand at the window, watching the cars arching over the Henderson Drive Bridge, and thank You once again.

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