BEING A SMARTMOUTH

My wife and I were discussing my habit of being a smartmouth this morning....personally, I've never seen it as a problem.

I've always been a smartmouth...I was small for my age in school, plus I'd been skipped a grade, which meant I wasn't going to be much of a fighter. However, I had a quick wit, and scads of role models, everyone from Ghoulardi to Steve Allen to the Man From U.N.C.L.E. had a smart mouth...it was cool.

We'd have putdown contests in school, just for fun....we had certain rules to go by, 4-X, if someone's mother was dead, we didn't crack on her. The idea was to keep your cool, and respond with something equally (or better) witty.

I will admit, I sometimes used wit to push people away, like the time I asked a nosy classmate, "Say, Judy, if your brother needs a pair of socks, does he reach down the front of your dress?" It had the desired effect....she never dipped in my business again, although I got a trip to the office for that.

I've gotten older, and I don't rag on people like that anymore, although sometimes, I'll get that "heads-up-display" with all the cunning things I COULD'VE said in my mind. To be honest, I'm content to keep my mouth shut, rather than hurt someone's feelings. I still like ragging on the tv people....they can't hear me!