Friday, June 11, 2010


Some of my friends had a band, called the Fabulous Techniques, and I sometimes roadied with them, or just hung out at practices and gigs. In the summer of '75, my friend Mike asked a favor of me; they had a gig coming up at an Elks Club function, and one of the songs they were doing was the prog-rock classic, "Utopia", by the band of the same name
and he wanted to know if I'd be willing to write an intro to the song, and do it onstage.
Silly question, nu?
I went straight home, and within an hour, I'd written the intro...after thirty-five years, I still remember it....
"Far away, unbound by the limits of Time and Space lies a world of perfect harmony, a world untouched by hatred, war, disease, and poverty. A paradise beyond your wildest dreams.
"Come with me now! Open your mind...release your soul.
Next stop-UTOPIA!"
( WAS the 70's!)
Anyway, the night of the gig, I'm just offstage, dressed in black, in a long black cloak with a crescent moon collar, pleasantly buzzed. The mike I'm going to use is hooked through the reverb box, checked out, ready to roll.
Micheal cues me, and I leap onstage, taking the mike on my fist. I flick the switch, and blow gently into the mike...nothing. I try again, getting naught but dead air, and an audience staring at me.
The Irish in me, fueled by some excellent Columbian, rushes to the fore...I throw back my head, and blast the crowd with my best mad-scientist laugh, and do the intro in a half-shout,
leaping offstage as I finish with a patented witches' cackle. The band launches into the tune, as I collapse into a chair in a corner, laughing my tuchus off.

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